Both Sides of Cancer - Day 245 -

Yes, we ARE still here. Unfortunately, there is little news to report. Tony has had very little change over the past few weeks. All of the issues he has had for a while are still lingering. A new issue, (yeah, something to report) (Yuck, more problems) is ingrown toe nails. As some of you may know, every year, right about now, Tony would hike in and out of the Grand Canyon, wait a day and then do it again in the opposite direction. 48 miles in 3 days- South rim to North, North Rim to South. So, when you hike that many miles, downhill and then wait a day and hike that many miles, again, downhill – you lose your toe nails. Every year- you lose your toe nails. Sooooo, with that kind of history and all the Chemo-therapies and the transplant, Tony lost his nails again back in April. Now, he has started to experience pretty bad pain with in-grown toe nails. He has seen the doc twice in a week. We will see where this leads.

OK, now over the past week, Tony and I have been presented with two views on cancer. The first was a chance to attend Mayo Clinic's (and Phoenix Childrens' Hospital's) 6^th Annual Bone Marrow Celebration last Saturday. It was a Celebration of Life. Over 800 people were there. The place was filled with transplant survivors and their families. Kids were everywhere. There was a slide show from last year's celebration and from the hospitals. It wasn't just for patients but the staff from both Hospitals along with their families were there too. Tony and I felt really lucky to go and see all the caring nurses and Doctors who have helped him over these past 10 months. We met Dr. S's kids – which was great.

I know the general theme of the past (few and far between) posts has been how hard all of this has been and, often, how little progress we are seeing. {Ok, Ok since July there has been progress but it feels miniscule!!} The intent of Saturday's celebration was to recognize where we are and how far we have come in this long marathon-like process. Whether we are happy about WHERE we are right now, we are SOMEWHERE and that night is designed to force us to see that.

Now, on the flip side of that, one of Tony's co-workers has had a year much like ours. Late last summer, her husband was diagnosed with a tumor in his brain. He had success in the first few months of treatment. However, things took a turn for the worse and, last Tuesday, he lost his fight with cancer. Services were held Saturday evening. We were not able to attend both in full. So, we did what we could to include both events. It was a bittersweet night for us.

For me, it was... Tony's coworker and I have been walking the same road, fighting the same fight and enduring the same difficulties over the past year. It hasn't actually been OUR road, or OUR fight though. It has been our husbands' and we stand by; watching, waiting, helping as we can, but so often, just watching this difficult, awful fight. And now, her husband is gone. His fight is over. And it feels wrong and scary and... wrong.

Anyways, we wish there were rainbows and moonbeams shooting out of this post. But, honestly, there aren't any this time. There just aren't.

Take care all – we love you and miss those of you so far away.